Every Inch Of Me - [Chapter Twenty Two]

Title: Every Inch Of Me - [Chapter Twenty-Two]
Author: Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.x_nscangel_x
Rating: NC-17 for impending sexual content and really bad language that should not be used by the boys in this fic.
Pairing: Ryden, Joncer
POV: 3rd person POV, switches from Brendon to Ryan, mostly Brendon (it’s obvious who’s POV it’s from)
Summary: Brendon is the stereotypical new kid at Berona, a boarding school that seems like a place straight out of the television. He reluctantly finds himself swept up in the world ruled by none other than Ryan Ross, the self-proclaimed king with a hidden past and a mask that just never seems to come off. Can Brendon learn to love the devil?
Title is from Bruised by Jack's Mannequin.
Disclaimer: The boys are not mine, neither will they ever be. There will also be cameos by other members of FBR bands. They do not belong to me either.
Beta: the amazing Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.anditscourtney 
Author Notes: we are nearing the end guys! This is the very last chapter before the epilogue. I hope you guys enjoy it.

 

            Ryan tossed the papers onto the coffee table. Lilith clutched her coffee mug like a lifeline, her hair a mess and dark circles under her eyes. She looked like a train wreck.

            “What’s that?” she croaked, brushing the tangled bangs out of her eyes.

            “Court papers,” he said curtly. “You need to look over them and sign them. You have to sign them. You have no choice.”

            “W-what are they saying?” Lilith muttered.

            “Long story short: the police found you knocked out from too many drinks and brought you home. They found Lucien in the cold bathtub. You’re lucky he wasn’t dead,” Ryan growled. “They’re giving me full custody.”

            Lilith jerked and looked up at him with hollow eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

            “I’m getting all of your parental rights.”

“You can’t,” she bawled frantically. “You can’t take him away from me.”

            “I already have,” Ryan answered indifferently. “I have full custody of Luke and you have nothing.”

            “No!” Lilith screamed, tearing at her hair. “I gave life to that kid, he’s mine!”

            “You should have thought about that earlier when you decided to get so drunk you couldn’t even remember your own name,” Ryan snarled. “No judge in the world is going to give you even partial custody. And now that I’m the only recognized parent by law, I don’t have to give you any money.”

            “Ryan,” she gasped, clutching her chest as if the ability to breathe had abandoned her, “don’t, you can’t do this to me. I need your money. I’ll die without it.”

            “Well if that happens, it’s what you deserve.” He shuffled the court papers back into the portfolio and tucked in underneath his arm.

            “Ryan!” she shrieked, but he had already walked out the door, anger coursing through his veins.

--------------------------------------------

            “Hello,” Brendon cooed, dangling a rattle toy on his hands. “How’s the little baby today?”

            Lucien gurgled and made grabby hands at the toy, but Brendon managed to keep it out of his reach. “Oh, you’re such a cute little baby, so cute,” Brendon said in that baby voice.

            Making fat little fists, Lucien waved his hands in the air, making noises and opening his mouth.

            “Oh, so you want some food?” Brendon asked, and picked up the little jar of baby food and spooned a little bit into Lucien’s gaping mouth.

            He heard the door open and turned around to see Ryan walk in the room. “Hey,” he said, feeding Lucien another spoonful of the baby food. “How was it?”

            “As horrible as could be expected,” Ryan replied. “Everything is practically settled, but she still refuses to accept it. And stop playing with him,” he complained. “I think you like that baby more than me.”

            “But he’s just so CUTE!” Brendon said, talking in that weird baby voice again. “Aren’t you just the cutest little boy in the world?”

            Lucien giggled happily and reached for the toy, shaking it and laughing even harder than before.

            “Yeah, absolutely adorable,” Ryan muttered.

            “Aw, Daddy’s cranky,” Brendon said to Lucien. “You should go make him happy.” He hoisted Lucien up from his chair and carried him over to Ryan, waving the baby around in his face. “You have to kiss Luke or else I won’t stop doing this.”

            Ryan sighed. “You’re going to drop him like this,” he said, pointing on the way that Brendon was waving Lucien around like a shiny new toy.

            “No I won’t, because I love Luke and he loves me.”

            “His name is Lucien,” Ryan growled. “I’ve told you guys a million times that his name is Lucien, not Luke.”

            “Well Lucien is such a handful to say,” Brendon countered. “And it sounds like something that you would come up with. It’s too dignified and stuffy-sounding.”

            “Of course it’s something that I would come up with!” Ryan shouted. “I named him! Now get Lucien out of my face!”

            “You have to kiss him,” Brendon declared. “I already told you.”

            Ryan rolled his eyes. “I wonder why I even bother with you sometimes.” He leaned forward and pecked Lucien’s cheek. “There, now leave me alone. I’m really sleepy.” Ryan lay down on the bed, his hands resting on his stomach.

            Brendon smiled and settled Lucien back into his chair. “Is Lilith still giving you trouble?” he asked softly as he fed Lucien another spoonful and set the toy on the table.

            “It’s not that…I have no idea what I’m going to do with Lucien.” Ryan rubbed his forehead, looking as weary as any adult. “I can’t just give him to a full-time babysitter. She’d be more of his parent than me.”

            Brendon walked over and lay down next to Ryan, clutching their hands together. “Let’s just… Let’s think about this. You have enough money to never work a day in your life, and Luke will probably be spoiled rotten when he’s older, so I think that if you really want, you can drop out of Berona. It’s a very reasonable possibility for you if you want to really take care of Luke and be a part of his life.”

            Ryan sighed and rested his head on Brendon’s shoulder. “But what am I supposed to do about you?”

            “What about me?” Brendon questioned startlingly. “This is about Luke.”

            “When am I supposed to see you?” Ryan asked, his voice telling Brendon that he didn’t really need an answer. “You’d be at school all the time, and weekends aren’t enough for me. I wouldn’t get to see Spencer or Jon either. It’s not…I wouldn’t know what I’d do for company.”

            “You know that I can’t drop out of school like you can,” Brendon mumbled sadly. “My parents don’t have that much money to support me my whole life. I have to go to school and I have to do well so that I can have a good job and all that crap.”

            “What if I give you the money?” Ryan threw out desperately. “What if I gave you a million dollars, right now? I think I have a checkbook somewhere.”

            Brendon furrowed his eyebrows together. “Don’t say stuff like that.”

            “I’m being serious!”

            “Ryan, I don’t want your money. And like you said, what if we’re not together? Would you still want to give me money?”

            “Yes,” he replied without a shadow of a doubt. “I’m serious about it.”

            Brendon sighed and wrapped an arm around Ryan’s waist. “You’re just saying that. Look, I love you, but you can’t take care of me like a little baby. There are some things that I have to do on my own, and while I find it really sweet that you’re willing to be so generous, I can’t take it. I don’t have a secure future like you do. Besides, you won’t miss me with Luke with you every single day. He’ll keep you occupied. And I won’t go eloping with any other Berona students when you’re gone.”

            “You better not,” Ryan grumbled, “or else I really will hire the mafia to shoot you.”

            “How sweet,” Brendon deadpanned. “I’ve always dreamed that my boyfriend would say that to me someday.”

            “You know you love it.”

            “So do you want to leave then?”

            “It’s… It’s an idea,” Ryan said slowly. “I’d consider it, if there wasn’t any other way.”

            “I’d miss you,” Brendon said simply. “But I know that you’d be happy with Lucien, too. I can’t be selfish.”

            “You can be,” Ryan offered. “I mean, you can just demand for me to stay here, right now. And you can tie me to the bed to make sure I don’t go anywhere.”

            Brendon widened his eyes in fake surprise. “Why, Ryan Ross, you dirty boy, are you into bondage?”

            Ryan shrugged casually, smiling at Brendon’s expression. “Maybe I am,” he whispered, “maybe I’m not.”

            He leaned forward and kissed Brendon slowly, brushing his tongue against Brendon’s lower lip. Brendon shivered and opened his mouth, letting Ryan slip his tongue inside.

            “Oh god,” Brendon whimpered. “Oh my—Ryan,” he gasped.

            Brendon kissed Ryan back as hard as Ryan was kissing him. Their arms were tangled up in the sheets and everything felt incredibly warm and Brendon had never felt more wonderful—

            “Hey boys,” Spencer shouted as he walked into the room, throwing his jacket on the ground. “Oh look, it’s Luke.”

He stopped in his steps when he saw Ryan lying on top of Brendon, hair rumpled and lips cherry-red. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly. “Um, do you want me to go or…”

            “No, it’s fine,” Ryan said. “You’ve absolutely obliterated any mood that was existent in this room before you came in.”

            “Hey, I want my kisses,” Brendon complained, fidgeting underneath Ryan. “Just ignore him and maybe he’ll go away.”

            “He’s like, my best friend,” Ryan shushed. “You have no idea how awkward that would be for me.”

            Brendon stuck his lower lip out. “I thought that I would be the person not putting out.”

            Spencer sniggered and Ryan shot him a dirty look. “We can have hot boy kisses later,” he told Brendon, nuzzling his nose.

            Brendon pouted but didn’t say anything as Ryan stood up and went to the bathroom.

            “So…” Spencer said uncomfortably, “how are…you?”

            “You are such a cock-blocker,” Brendon groaned.

            “So have you guys done it yet?” Spencer said conversationally.

            Brendon shook his head quickly. “No…not yet,” he said slyly.

            Spencer gaped at him. “Are you serious?”

            Brendon nodded. “I’m planning on it, very soon.”

            “Are you like, the type to do the whole roses and candle thing?”

            “Ryan would laugh at me too hard to even consider having sex with me,” Brendon scoffed. “I need to make it really Ryan-like, sexy and edgy.”

            Spencer rolled his eyes. “Are you really sure you want to lose your virginity to Ryan?”

            Brendon nodded confidently. “I love him. I’m sure.”

            Spencer sighed resignedly. “Well, if you’re really sure…” Spencer clapped him on the shoulder, “use protection!”

            Brendon blushed and brushed his hand off his shoulder. “I know that,”

            “Are you cheating on me with Spencer now?” Ryan said as he walked towards Brendon.

            “You think that I’m cheating with you on everyone,” Brendon said amusedly.

            “He’s just too gorgeous,” Spencer sighed dramatically. “I couldn’t keep my hands off of him.”

            “That apple-bottom is mine,” Ryan growled.

            “Aw, you’re fighting over me,” Brendon said, wrapping his arms around Ryan’s sides and pressing a kiss to his neck. “I love you,” he whispered.

            “Mm,” Ryan murmured. “Do you want to make out in a classroom later?”

            “Or we could just stay here, you know, where there’s a bed,” Brendon laughed. “We can traumatize Spencer in the process. It’s a win-win situation.”

            “You two suck,” Spencer groaned. “I’m leaving.”

            As soon as he was out the door, Ryan pushed Brendon until he fell backwards on the bed, pressing himself from toes to chest against Brendon.

            “Hot boy kisses,” Ryan said huskily, and he leaned down to kiss Brendon’s already open mouth.

            “I know, I’m a fan,” Brendon replied, and neither of them said anything for a while.

---------------------------------------------

            “Jon, I need your help,” Brendon said desperately.

            “Okay, shoot,” Jon replied, leaning back on his chair.

            “Can you help me have sex with Ryan?”

            Jon paled and turned purple within a few seconds. “What?”

            “I want to have sex with Ryan.”

            “Um, did you forget the talk we had?”

            “I remember!” Brendon said earnestly. “I really do. But I really love Ryan, and I’m super sure that I want to do this.”

            Jon looked extremely uncomfortable, but he gestured for Brendon to sit down.

            “Well, what do you want to know?

            “I want to know what Ryan would like…I know that he’s not the romantic type much, so I’m not going to do that. But I want him to want this as much as I do.”        

            Jon sighed and rubbed his forehead. “It seems like we have to have another talk.”

            “What’s wrong this time?” Brendon said worriedly.

            “Anyone with eyes can see that Ryan loves you. He won’t really care what you choose to do. I mean, sex isn’t really supposed to be about what set-up you use. It’s supposed to be a way to show love.”

            “Do you think… Do you think that we’re doing this way too fast?” Brendon bit his lip.

            “Well, seeing as you guys liked each other for months before actually doing anything about it, no, I don’t really think so. But you have to be sure. This is kind of a big deal for you.”

            Brendon nodded, feeling the queasiness in his stomach go away.

            “I’m really, really sure. I mean, when we kiss, it’s like…” Brendon’s voice trailed away. “It’s like he sets my skin on fire. And it feels amazing.”

            “Have you guys done… stuff together?” Jon asked gawkily.

            Brendon turned red again and shook his head. “We haven’t done anything… intimate besides make out.”

            Jon thought about this for a moment, then gestured Brendon lean in closer.

            “Since this is your first time doing anything, really, you need to know a few things. I’m a hundred percent sure that Ryan’s a top, but I don’t know what you’ll do. But if you’re bottoming, it’s going to hurt in the beginning. But you got to know that it gets better, unless you really can’t take it. Then you ask Ryan to pull out. But if you’re topping, make sure you prepare Ryan. It’s going to hurt him if you don’t do it right and do it well.”

            “Anything else that I should know?” Brendon asked, mortified, the tips of his ears turning pink.

            “Use protection,” Jon said simply. “I know that you’ve never been with anyone else, and Ryan’s always careful, but you never know. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. Ryan definitely has condoms. You don’t have to worry about that. And lube too. If you’re topping, use a lot of that stuff. Makes it easier to…get it in,” Jon finished, his cheeks turning pink too.

            “Um…okay,” Brendon said. This was really awkward for him, as his parents never gave him The Talk, and Jon look quite uncomfortable too. “So know that it gets better, prepare thoroughly, use a condom and lube. Is that it?”

            Jon pretended to wipe his eyes. “They grow up so fast,” he sniffled.

            Brendon rolled his eyes and shoved him lightly. “Well, I’m off to go, uh, use my newly acquired knowledge.”

            “Tonight?” Jon asked incredulously.

            “Maybe,” Brendon said, truly uncertain. “Ryan’s been really stressed out about what to do with Luke…I want to see his mood when he gets back from the social worker’s office.”

            Jon shrugged. “Well, good luck to you then,” he said strongly, saluting Brendon as he walked out the door.

            He grinned and saluted Jon back. “Thanks Jon,” he added in a quiet voice, “for everything really.”

            Smiling, Jon nodded his head in acknowledgement. “I know.”

            ------------------------------------------

            “Fuckity fuck, fucking fuck fucker fucking fuck mother fucking fucker,” Ryan cursed all the way towards the dorm rooms. It was late in the afternoon and classes finished two, three hours ago.

            Everything was completely settled, and Lilith was being a bitch. She had grabbed hold of his jacket and refused to let go; she only released Ryan when the security guards pulled her off him, and that was because she had ripped a chunk out of Ryan’s custom-made one-of-a-kind Marc Jacobs leather jacket.

            Tension was rippling throughout his body, and he desperately wished that Brendon was in the room. Brendon was like his own ball of sunshine.

            He took a deep breath and pushed open the door, and sighed with relief when he saw Brendon reading a book on his bed. Walking over, Ryan leaned down and pressed a kiss on his cheek. “Hey,” he said softly.

            Brendon tilted his head to the side and smiled. “You’re back, “he said, turning the book onto its side and folding the page corner down. “How did it go?”

            “Just dandy,” Ryan sighed. “Look at this!” he moaned, showing Brendon the hole in his jacket. “I had this custom-made, and she ripped this gigantic hole in and it’s probably impossible for it to get fixed. I’ll have to throw it away,” he said sadly.

            Brendon tried not to laugh. “Well, you have a lot of sexy leather jackets that you can wear,” he assured Ryan soothingly. “You can try to get another one.”

            Ryan sighed but said nothing and moved so that he was lying next to Brendon. He scooted over so that Ryan had more room, and Brendon was immediately enveloped in the scent of sandalwood.

            “I missed you,” Ryan sighed. “I wish you could have helped with me Lilith. You would have totally beaten her in a bitch-off.”

            Brendon laughed and looked at Ryan. “Are you sure about that? I’m pretty sure you’re a… Never mind,” he said, laughing it off. “Still stressed out?”

            “It’s a bit better now…” Ryan sighed. “I just like to lie down here with you.”

            “Aw, look at you acting all mushy,” Brendon teased, and Ryan rolled his eyes.

            “You’re going to be the death of me,” he said. “But I’m pretty sure that it’s a decent way to die, considering all of my other options.”

            ---------------------------------------------

When Brendon walked out of his English class, he saw Gabe leaning against the pillar, looking straight at him. Gabe lifted a hand and crooked his finger, beckoning him to come closer.

            “Did you need me for something?” Brendon asked when he walked over.

            “I think there’s something about Ryan that you need to know,” Gabe said silkily. “And I know that you guys are together, so he shouldn’t be keeping secrets from you.”

            Brendon looked a bit startled. He wondered what else about Ryan that Gabe knew. “Okay, tell me then.”

            “He has a son, Brendon, a son. He had a kid with some girl in freshmen year and he gave the kid to the mother. He’s not good for you.”

            Brendon bristled with anger. “I already knew that, Gabe. Ryan told me, and I still like him. So if you were hoping that we would break up because of that, good luck trying someplace else, because I’m not breaking up with him anytime soon.”

            He turned heel and began to walk away before Gabe tugged on his arm. “He’s going to leave you,” Gabe snarled, his eyes going menacingly black. “He’ll fuck you and dump you and be done with you. That’s all. He doesn’t love you.”

            Brendon held his head high. “You can say anything you want, but it’s not going to change what I have with Ryan.”

            “You have nothing,” Gabe growled furiously. “You are nothing.”

            Brendon ignored him and walked down the hallway.

            Ryan was waiting for him at the corner. “What took you?”

            “Gabe,” replied Brendon, and he definitely didn’t miss the way Ryan tensed at the name.

            “What did you want with you?” Ryan asked nervously.

            Brendon sighed as they made their way through the crowd of students. “I think he was trying to break us up. He told me that you had a son. I guess he didn’t know that I knew already.”

            Ryan glowered at nothing in particular. “I will kill him someday.”

            “He then told me that you would…what was it? Oh yeah, you would ‘fuck me, dump me, and be done with me’. That’s what he said.”

            Ryan looked at Brendon’s expression. “Do you believe that?”

            “I don’t know what to believe,” Brendon groaned. “I mean, I just…I know how you are. You like sex, and I guess I can kind of understand because it’s supposed to feel really awesome. But I’m not like that, and I’m really freaking out because I don’t know if I can be enough for you, or be sexy and stuff like that…”

            Ryan groaned and pulled Brendon into a nearby classroom. “Look,” he said firmly, “don’t believe anything that Gabe tells you, unless it’s insulting himself. He’s a horrible person and he’s lying. I don’t want you for sex. Yes, I like sex, but it’s not like I’ll pass away without it.” He tilted Brendon’s chin up and looked straight at him. “Brendon, you have to believe me when I say that you’re hot, because you are. I’m…I have a pretty good will. I can wait if that’s what you need. I won’t die without sex.” Ryan hesitated, and then spoke, “I’d be much closer to death if something happened to you.”         

            Brendon smiled softly and kissed Ryan lazily, the March sun warming his body. “William was right,” he said breathily when they broke apart.

            “My stable boy?”

            “Yeah. He said that you acted like a bitch, but you’re actually a big softie. I can see why he thinks that way now.”

            Before Ryan could put on his bitch moves and start denying anything, Brendon pressed his lips tightly against Ryan’s, swallowing any words that might have come out.

            --------------------------------------------

Two weeks passed, and Brendon still hadn’t done anything. Ryan had been true to his word, and didn’t do anything with Brendon beyond some heavy kissing. But Brendon was almost about to die, and he was sure that he wanted it.

            The trouble is, Ryan seemed to have gone temporarily celibate or something.

            Brendon had tried his best to seduce Ryan. He had worn his leather clothes, put on dark makeup, learned how to do…other things with his mouth, and even put on Ryan’s cologne.

            Nothing seemed to really work. Brendon was pretty sure that he needed to get out the big guns now if they were going to do anything else with their mouths besides kissing.

            So he skipped his last class and went to their dorm room. He sent a text to Spencer and Jon to please, for the love of all that his holy, stay out of the room until at least five o’ clock. He really hoped that they got the message.

            Taking a deep breath, he went over to the drawer and took out the lube that Jon had bought for him last week, pressing it into Brendon’s hand despite all protests. He had done some…reading, and he came to the conclusion that lube was used quite often during gay sex. So he shucked off his blazer, undid his tie, unbuttoned his dress shirt, and was left it nothing but his slacks, which he took off too. He stood there, feeling quite silly in his boxer shorts, and sat down on the bed. Compelling himself to relax, he uncapped the bottle of lube.

            -------------------------------------------------

            Spencer was giving Ryan a ton of funny looks and smirks throughout seventh period. It was kind of driving Ryan on edge, and he had no idea what the fuck was going on.

            When the bell rang, Ryan ran up to Spencer and demanded to know what was up. All Spencer said was, “You have a little surprise waiting for you in your room.”

            Naturally, Ryan was curious, so he was currently running to the dorm buildings as quickly as possible.

            The door was locked however, and Ryan was knocking loudly, swearing at Spencer for tricking him. He was about to leave when the door opened to reveal Brendon, with only his head visible and the rest of his body hidden behind the door.

            “H-hi Ryan,” Brendon stuttered. “I’m, um, well, just wait there.”

            Ryan was about to ask Brendon what was wrong when Brendon closed to the door. After a few minutes, Brendon opened the door again, wearing only an unbuttoned dress shirt and his boxers, looking thoroughly embarrassed.

            “What’s wrong?” he asked gently.

            Brendon looked down. “I’m so stupid,” he whimpered. “I…I wanted to have sex with you,” he said quietly, and Ryan turned red. “I asked Spencer and Jon to stay out of the room so we could be alone and I was trying to…trying to prepare,” he whispered, sniffling. “And it hurt and I couldn’t do it and I feel so stupid.”

            Ryan shook his head. “If you really wanted to, all you had to do was ask.”

            “But I wanted it to be special!” Brendon protested. “And I’ve been trying to get you to have sex with me this whole week but it wasn’t working so I just…tried this instead.”

            Ryan couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. He knew that he should probably say something, but he didn’t really know what to say that would make Brendon feel better.

            “It didn’t have to be special,” Ryan said after a while. “I just want you.”

            He stepped closer and took his jacket off. “Do you still want this?”

            Brendon nodded quickly. “I’m really sure.”

            Ryan yanked off his tie, throwing it aside, and he could see Brendon gulp. “Go sit on the bed,” Ryan ordered softly, unbuttoning his shirt and kicking off his shoes.

            Brendon scrambled over to his bed and sat there, his eyes going wide as Ryan took off more and more clothes. Eventually, he was left naked, and Brendon couldn’t help but peek. He realized what he was doing and quickly turned away, his cheeks burning.

            “No, it’s okay to look,” Ryan whispered, walking to the bed. “I kind of like it.”

            Ryan then leaned down to kiss Brendon and he relaxed. Kissing was familiar territory. He could do kissing.

            Then tongues met and the kiss became a little more urgent and desperate, and suddenly Brendon was on his back with Ryan lying on top of him, the wet smacking sound of their lips filling the room.

            They pulled apart for a few seconds, breathing heavily, before diving back in. His cheeks were flushed and the warmth that accompanied Ryan’s kisses spread from his lips all the way down to his toes.

            “Brendon,” whispered Ryan, eyes shining. “I want you to look at me. I want you to know that it’s me who’s doing this to you. I want you to remember that it’s me.”

            “Always,” Brendon murmured. “It’s always you.”

            Ryan brushed Brendon’s dress shirt off his shoulders, balled it up, and threw it aside. He slid his hands down Brendon’s side, petting the skin. Brendon was running his hands up and down Ryan’s back, drinking in every touch, every whisper, every kiss. If this was sex, it was amazing. He’d never felt more cherished.

            “Can I,” Ryan groaned, his voice deep and rumbly, “can I take off your boxers?”

            Brendon nodded, gasping as Ryan’s hands dipped past the waistband and tugged his boxers down gently. He blushed and looked away, not wanting to see Ryan look at him, but when he turned his head back, Ryan was staring at him with such a hunger in his eyes that it made his shiver.

            “You have no idea how much I want you,” Ryan sighed, drawing lazy circles on Brendon’s thigh. “You have just no idea how beautiful you are.”

            He pressed a kiss on his thigh and Brendon trembled. “Ryan,” he groaned. “Oh god…”

            “I haven’t even started yet,” Ryan chuckled, resting his head on his leg. “But I’m flattered that I can make you so hot for me.”

            “You have such a big ego,” Brendon said breathlessly, gasping as Ryan licked his thigh. “But um, keep doing that please.”

            “Would you rather have me do something else with my tongue?” Ryan said coyly, and with that, he dipped his head down and took all of Brendon’s cock in his mouth.

            “Holy--!”

            Brendon couldn’t breathe. Every nerve was strung high and tight and everything felt impossibly good. He never knew that he could feel so good. He was in nirvana, he was floating on Cloud 9, as long as Ryan kept doing that with his tongue and lips and teeth…

            Then Ryan stopped, and Brendon wanted to cry, because stopping was the worst thing Ryan could ever do, and Brendon needed more, oh god, he needed more…

            “Hey, don’t look at me like that,” Ryan laughed. “We’ll do plenty of other better things.”

            He slunk up on the bed next to Brendon, and they kissed hard for a few minutes before pulling apart.

            “I want you in me,” Ryan said, and it shook Brendon out of his haze.

            “But…but Jon said that—“

            “Yes, I usually top, but I want you to know how it feels. I want to trust you, too.”

            Brendon swallowed nervously. “But what if I hurt you, or do something wrong?”

            “You won’t,” Ryan assured him. “Trust me.”

            Brendon reached over Ryan and fumbled around in the drawer, taking out the lube and the condom that he found in Ryan’s stuff.

            “Tell me what to do,” Brendon whispered, kissing Ryan’s cheek.

            “Cover your fingers with the lube,” Ryan ordered, and Brendon followed, squeezing a bit too much. “Now just put one finger in…there,” Ryan said, turning pink.

            Brendon did, and he felt his finger encased in hot tightness and his cock gave a little twitch thinking about that around him.

            “Push your finger in and out,” Ryan said, his eyes going a little foggy. “And… And stretch me.”

            Brendon bit his lip and followed Ryan, staring in wonder as Ryan whined and rolled his hips around just slightly.

            “Put… Put one more,” Ryan groaned. “And do the same.”

            The result was amazing. Ryan looked so beautiful with his head thrown back.

            “Stretch,” Ryan gasped. “Almost like…like a scissor. And crook your fingers.”

            Brendon squeezed a bit more lube and watched as Ryan swore, hips lifting.

            “Okay, stop that, just fuck me,” Ryan demanded, pulling Brendon closer.

            “Now who’s the pushy one?” Brendon teased, laughing as Ryan slapped his arm. Ryan reached for the condom, tearing it open with his teeth with the air of a person who had done this way too many times before and worked it on Brendon’s cock, making him cry out and tremble.

            “You are too good at this,” Brendon gritted out, and covered his cock with lube. “Tell me if I’m hurting you,” he pleaded as he tilted his hips forward, the head of his cock rubbing against Ryan’s slicked hole.

            “Fuck, my fucking god, just put it in,” Ryan snapped.

            Brendon slowly inched forward, and he gasped when the head popped through the ring of muscle. Every inch of his skin was on fire. Oh god, everything felt so good, so amazing.

            “Ryan,” he groaned, their foreheads touching. “Oh my god, Ryan,” he cried out.

            “Brendon, just—just go,” Ryan gasped. “Move already,” he moaned, and pushed down, making both of them gasp and groan and writhe.

            “This is amazing,” Brendon said in awe. “How do people—fuck—ever stop having sex if it feel so damn awesome?”

            “Because we have priorities,” Ryan said hoarsely. “Fuck—come on, you can go a lot faster than that,” he challenged.

            Brendon’s eyes squeezed shut as he pushed slowly, all the way in. He couldn’t believe it, how he was surrounded by hotfucktightRyan.

            But through the fuzzy haze of pleasure, he realized that Ryan trusted him. Ryan was putting a lot in his hands. Brendon could have easily hurt Ryan, and he realized it.

            This is love.

            His hips were now pressed against Ryan’s ass, and they stilled, panting heavily, and Brendon was waiting on Ryan’s signal.

            “Move,” he whispered, and Brendon pulled out slowly, pushing back in as slow as possible. “Oh god, I won’t break.”

            “I know, you’ve told me plenty of times.”

            Brendon picked up the past, thrusting in faster and faster. Ryan seemed to enjoy it by the way his face was flushed and his skin was sweating and his cries for Brendon to keep on going. The slow, delicious drag of Ryan’s channel on his cock was driving him insane. The room was filled with only the sound of Brendon’s groans and Ryan’s beautiful broken cries for faster. He knew that Ryan would laugh at him later, but he knew he couldn’t last long.

            He pressed their chests together and thrust desperately, his hips working as fast as possible, relishing in the way Ryan’s shrieked and cried for deeper, faster, anything. Brendon pushed a hand between their bodies and only focused on making Ryan feel as good as he was.

            A few tugs and they were coming, warm wetness spurting between their bodies.

            Brendon slowed down the pace, his chest rising and falling so heavily that he felt like he just ran a hundred miles. He pulled out gradually, showering Ryan’s face with kisses when he winced. His legs felt like jelly, and as much as he tried, he knew that he couldn’t hold himself up.

            Brendon collapsed next to Ryan and tried to regulate his breathing.

            “Did I hurt you? Was that okay?” Brendon asked nervously, biting his lip.

            Ryan turned his head and grinned. “That was great,” he said sincerely, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “You’re amazing,” he said wondrously, and Brendon laughed.

            “So you’re really okay?”

            Ryan rolled his eyes. “If you say that one more time, I’m going to hit you.”

            “But—“

            “No buts! I’m not a glass china teacup. I won’t break. Besides, I really liked the way you just slammed into me,” he added coyly, looking at Brendon from under his eyelashes.

            Brendon gulped and averted his gaze. “Um…”

            Ryan chuckled and tugged Brendon closer. “I’m just playing with you,” he said, nuzzling Brendon’s cheek. “Was it everything you wanted?”

            “Everything and more,” he said simply. “I’m glad we did this.”

            “Mm, well it won’t be the only time, if I have my way. In fact, I’d say that ten minutes should suffice. We are teenage boys, after all.”

            Brendon laughed as Ryan crawled over him, pressing kisses on every inch of him.

A/N: Wow so this chapter was quite long. I hoped that staved you off for a bit before the epilogue! I feel a little sad because I’ve been working on this fic for so long, but this means that I have a lot of time to work on my new muse: Klaine! Fellow Glee fans, you can read those too! (They’re in my master list).

I want the epilogue to really be good, so it’s probably going to be 15+ pages. Maybe. I’m not sure yet, but it’ll be longer than usual.

NOTICE HOW THE LAST FEW WORDS ARE KIND OF THE SAME AS THE TITLE? YES/NO? yeah I’m lame. I just wated to be like, “oh haha there’s the title in the story, ha.” But you can ignore that if you want.