Every Inch Of Me - Epilogue

Title: Every Inch Of Me - Epilogue
Author: x_nscangel_x
Rating: NC-17 for impending sexual content and really bad language that should not be used by the boys in this fic.
Pairing: Ryden, Joncer
POV: 3rd person POV, switches from Brendon to Ryan, mostly Brendon (it’s obvious who’s POV it’s from)
Summary: Brendon is the stereotypical new kid at Berona, a boarding school that seems like a place straight out of the television. He reluctantly finds himself swept up in the world ruled by none other than Ryan Ross, the self-proclaimed king with a hidden past and a mask that just never seems to come off. Can Brendon learn to love the devil? Title is from Bruised by Jack's Mannequin.
Disclaimer: The boys are not mine, neither will they ever be. There will also be cameos by other members of FBR bands. They do not belong to me either.
Beta: the amazing anditscourtney 
Author Notes: this is the very end. thank you so much for reading. it means so much to me.


 

Sometimes, love hits you like a train. It’s fast, quick, and you almost don’t know that it’s coming.

They say that it isn’t easy, finding someone you really love. It’s like trying to find that one person that is just perfect with you, almost like a soul-mate. You have to go through a lot until you find someone that really fits you, someone who you would do anything for. You have to go through a lot of heartbreak and a lot of pain. A lot of people never even find that person that they want to spend the rest of their lives with.

            Lucky for Brendon Urie, he got it right on his very first try.

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Five years later

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            “Dammit Lucien, stop running around!” Ryan shouted as the little blonde toddler jumped on the bed and on the furniture. Ryan was crouched over his big wooden desk with a ton of papers scattered all over the surface.

            Ryan had not aged much over the course of five years. His hair was a bit shorter than before, and he had more stubble on his chin than he was proud to admit. He grew taller, too, something that Brendon was not too happy about, seeing as he remained about the same height.

            “Daddy, play with me!” the little boy pouted and he bounced on the bed. “Daddy, please?”

            “I can’t, I have to do stuff,” Ryan growled, scribbling another number down furiously.

            “No, let’s go to the park!” Lucien whined. “Please, Daddy, can we go with Daddy too?”

            “No, other Daddy is busy, too. We’re all busy Lucien. We can’t play with you today.”

            “But I wanna play!” Lucien complained, his voice rising to a scream.

            “Lucien, don’t make me put you in the corner for the rest of the day,” Ryan threatened, and Lucien knew his father’s voice well enough to know his current tone meant business. He sulked and sat down on the edge of the bed instead, swinging his legs inattentively and humming something.

            Someone knocked at the door, and Ryan muttered, “Come in.”

Brendon walked into the room, dressed in jeans and a plain blue shirt, holding a coffee mug. “Ryan, you have to be nicer to him,” he said gently.

Brendon had grown out quite nicely in the past couple of years. He no longer kept his hair messy and free, and it was now cropped and parted to the right, his bangs just brushing on his eyebrows. His jaw had grown more prominent, and his skin had gotten darker from being out in the sun all of the time. He looked like a runway male model, except shorter.

            “He’s being a brat,” Ryan grumbled, rubbing his forehead wearily. “The stupid company can’t take care of anything, and they leave me with all of the shit that they refuse to do.”

            “I know, and it’s not fair, but he’s a kid. He wants your attention. That’s why we wanted to do this in the first place, remember?”

            Ryan smiled ruefully. “You don’t need to remind me every single day.”

            Brendon was now right behind Ryan, and he wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pressing a kiss to his neck. “After you finish that bank statement, we’re taking Luke to the park, okay?” Ryan’s expression begged to differ, but Brendon just hushed him. “Baby, you’re working really hard and you need a break. We are going to have some fun on this nice day and Luke will wonder how he ended up with such wonderful daddies.”

            “You’re the only who spoils him,” Ryan said. “That’s why he never listens to me. It’s because you think that everything he does is the most endearing thing in the world.”

            “It’s because he’s six and he is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

            Ryan rolled his eyes. “Brendon, you’re twenty-one years old. Grow up a little.”

            “I refuse,” Brendon declared, holding his head up, and squeaked when Lucien ran off the bed and threw himself onto Brendon’s leg.

            “Daddy, will you play with me?” Lucien asked beautifully.

            “Of course, baby,” Brendon fussed. “We’ll go to the park later, okay?”

            “Will Daddy come, too?”      

            “Of course he will,” Brendon said, glaring at Ryan. “We’re both coming.”

            “What about Uncle Jon and Uncle Spencer?”

            “Lucien, I have explained many times that they are on a vacation and they won’t be back until next month,” Ryan ground out.

            He looked downright murderous at the moment, and Brendon thought that it’d be best for Lucien to leave the room before anyone got killed. He patted the little boy on the back and gently led him out the door, throwing Ryan a frustrated look.

            Ryan immediately felt guilt-ridden. He knew that Brendon had given up a lot to stay with him these past couple of years, and he had even dropped out of school so that they could both be with Lucien and each other.

            It wasn’t an easy decision. The shouting that Brendon’s parents had given him when they went to visit accelerated so badly that Spencer had to check to make sure World War III wasn’t happening in the living room.

While Brendon’s mother looked like a woman who loved her kid, she knew all about the whimsical teenage romances. She wasn’t going to let her son make the same mistakes, she said. And she wanted for Brendon and Ryan to break up right then and there.

            Ryan had half-expected Brendon to follow his parents’ orders. After all, Ryan knew how much family meant to him. He didn’t expect Brendon to wrap an arm around Ryan’s waist and look his father straight in the eye while saying very clearly that he would be staying with Ryan and that he was going to drop out of Berona, no matter what they had to say to him.

            When his parents threatened to disown him and leave him with no money, Brendon just laughed and told his parents what exactly Ryan did for a living. Immediately, his parents started fawning over Ryan and approved of their relationship straightaway, especially stressing that they wanted Brendon to live with Ryan as soon as possible (most likely to sneak money from Ryan’s fat-ass bank account).

            It was sickening. Even Brendon thought so.

            But he knew that Brendon had put up with a lot, and he knew that it wasn’t exactly right to have him take care of his son while he worked. He loved Lucien, but there were just days when he got on his nerves.

            Ryan just sat there, feeling quite guilty with himself, until he groaned and pushed the paperwork away, walking out of the room to look for Brendon and Lucien.

---------------------------------------------------

            “Good! Now tell me what this is called,” Brendon said, holding up a card with an elephant on it.

            “Elephan’!” Lucien cried happily, making little fists into the air. His blonde hair looked like woven gold in the afternoon sun.

            “Oh you are so smart!” Brendon said, laughing when Lucien blushed and looked down. “Aw, don’t be shy, little angel. Come on, are you hungry?”

            “Daddy says that I shouldn’t eat too much,” Lucien said seriously as they walked towards the drooping willow tree that overlooked the lake. “He doesn’t want me to be chubby like Uncle Spencer.”

            “Well, Daddy is stupid,” Brendon whispered conspiratorially. “But don’t tell him that I said that.”

            Lucien giggled and put a finger over his lips, making the shushing noise.

            “Here, I have some sandwiches and crackers and I know you love strawberries so they’re here too,” Brendon listed as he pulled each item out from the basket, “along with your favorite juice!”

            “Is Daddy mad at me?” Lucien asked, his beautiful brown eyes wide.

            Brendon smiled reassuringly and shook his head. “Trust me: Daddy is just being grumpy right now. He’ll be fine later. Remember that he loves you, even though he’s always such a big grumpy bear.”

            Lucien nodded. He munched on a cookie thoughtfully before asking, “Daddy, why don’t I have a mommy?”

            Brendon gaped. “What?”

            “I mean, I have a daddy, and you’re my daddy, but where’s my mommy?”

            Brendon exhaled and sat back down, hoisting Lucien onto his lap. “Luke, do you really want a mommy?”

            Lucien shook his head swiftly. “No! I like having you and Daddy. But my friend from the school said that he has a mommy. And he asks why I don’t have a mommy.”

            Brendon kissed Lucien’s cheek. “Honey, not everyone’s going to have a mommy. Some people have two mommies, and some people have two daddies. You’re lucky that you have two daddies who love you very much.”

            “So two daddies are okay, right?” Lucien asked, his eyes big, and Brendon couldn’t help but think of Ryan’s hazel eyes too.

            He didn’t know how to tell Lucien that there was always hate in the world: hate for everyone and everything, no matter who you were. He didn’t know how to tell a six-year-old that some people in the world wanted his two dads dead and would gladly do the deed for them. He didn’t know how to tell his loveable little angel that when he went to middle school, people would tease him for having two gay fathers instead of a mother and a father. He didn’t want Lucien to know that some people that thought two dads were the least okay thing in the world.

            But he just nodded and hugged Lucien firmly.

            “Yes, two daddies are just perfect.”

            -----------------------------------------------

            Spencer and Jon had, unsurprisingly, remained together. In the six years they were a couple however, Ryan and Brendon had to suffer through about thirty drunken arguments, eleven tearful break-ups, eleven reunions, and six death threats from both parties. They were quite a turbulent couple. Ryan and Brendon didn’t even have all of these problems.

            Of course, they had broken up and seen other people among these five years, but they always ended up back together again. And another argument could ensue and then they might break up and date someone else again. But no matter what happened, all four of them knew that Jon and Spencer belonged together, and that was that.

            “Baby, I miss them,” Spencer said as Jon rubbed his back with the massage oil, with Spencer lying on the big fluffy bed. “And rub my shoulders, it’s really sore there.”

            “Anything for the royal highness,” Jon said dryly, massaging his shoulders.

            “I don’t appreciate your sarcasm,” Spencer sniffed. “Can we go back home now?”

“No, we can’t, because Ryan paid for a three week vacation at the Bahamas, so we are going to stay for three weeks at the Bahamas. Spencer, usually people don’t complain about things like this. And plus, don’t you think it’s time that we got a place of our own? We’ve been living in Ryan’s mansion for years now.”

            “No, because I’m Ryan’s best friend and I have best friend rights to free-load off of him until I die. It’s practically a rule.”

“That’s a crappy rule. And you’re staying here.”

“I know it’s nice but…Lucien would usually be here, playing around and making a mess and Ryan would be pissed but Brendon would know just how to calm him down like always. And then they would go off and have hot sex.”

            “They never change,” Jon said affectionately, rubbing Spencer’s shoulders.

            “I don’t think anything has changed except that I’ve gotten taller,” Spencer added proudly.

            “Honey, I’m taller than you though.”

            “Shut up and let me dream for a moment.”

            “Whatever you want, dear.”

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            Ryan eventually gave in and spent the afternoon with Brendon and Lucien at the nearby park. Ryan liked the park that he had at his own house, but Lucien loved to play with the other kids.

            Brendon and Ryan were having a long-standing argument on where to send Lucien to school. He was currently attending the best public school in the area, but Ryan had other plans.

            “He’ll be okay,” Brendon said softly, watching Lucien work on a sandcastle in the damp sand with a new friend.

            “He’s still my son,” Ryan replied. “I wish we could send him off to a private school instead. He’d be safer there.”

            “You mean a place like Berona?” Brendon laughed, and Ryan just smiled ruefully.

            “Okay, Berona was absolutely horrible, but Lucien doesn’t deserve a stupid public school. He deserves the best of everything that I can give him,” Ryan pressed, looking extremely conflicted.

            “You’ve given him your love. That’s all he needs. He doesn’t need fancy uniforms or the newest game system or whatever boys want. He just wants to know that his daddy loves him,” Brendon assured him.

            “I do love him,” Ryan whispered, and Brendon looped an arm around his waist, despite the glares and whispers that ensued from the surrounding parents. He couldn’t give less of a fuck about homophobia at the moment.

            “Daddies, look at what I found!” Lucien said excitedly, waving a little broken shovel in their faces. “My friend said that the pirates buried it, so it’s a secret treasure! Daddy, can we sell it for a lot of gold?”

Brendon tried not to laugh and just nodded, telling Lucien that it was a fantastic discovery and secretly threw the shovel away when Lucien had his back turned.

            “We’re twenty-one years old,” Brendon said when Lucien was out of hearing range. “If we can’t even decide what to do with ourselves, how are we supposed to take care of a kid?”

            “I just want to protect him,” Ryan whispered.

            Brendon sighed and rested his head on Ryan’s shoulder. “That’s what my parents tried to do with me,” he said. “And when I went to Berona, without any family or people that I knew around me, I was so fucking scared. I don’t want that to happen to Lucien. He needs to know how the world works. And I want to protect him, too. I want nothing bad to ever happen to him. But we need to let him go sometime. He’ll hate his dads for suffocating him so much,” he laughed.

            Ryan groaned. “I never knew raising a kid could be so difficult,” he admitted. “I mean, my parents never really gave a shit about me and I turned out okay.”

            Brendon shook his head. “No, you didn’t turn out okay.” When he saw Ryan’s affronted expression, he laughed and kissed his cheek. “You turned out even better.”

            Lucien came back to show them another finding, but instead saw his two fathers kissing. And like any normal child, he made retching noises and said “eww” and all Brendon and Ryan did was laugh and hold Lucien’s hand while they walked back to the car.

                ---------------------------------------------------

“I just don’t see why you have to spend six hours getting ready every single time we go out to dinner,” Brendon muttered as Ryan fixed his hair for the millionth time that evening.

            They were both dressed in expensive-looking suits, Ryan in a black suit and Brendon wearing grey. Brendon had taken about ten minutes at the most to fix himself up, and he had spent the last hour waiting for Ryan to be ready.

            “I have to look fabulous,” Ryan said imperiously, and Brendon rolled his eyes.

            “You are such a girl,” he bit out.

            “Shut up. I have a dick.”

            “I know you do, I’ve seen it.”

            “Well then, don’t question my gender and let me look dazzling.”

            Brendon sighed and crossed his arms. “Ryan, it’s just a dinner,” he groaned,” and you always look amazing. Come on, we’re going to be late for our reservations and then we’ll have to end up going to McDonalds instead, like the last time,” Brendon prompted, and Ryan reddened.

            “Okay, just wait a moment. You’re so impatient.” Ryan fussed with his hair, spritzed just a bit of cologne onto his neck, and fixed his tie. “There, I’m done. And we’re still both alive, and we have all our vital body parts. No one died. Let’s go.”

            “You are always going to be a snarky little bitch,” Brendon grumbled, and Ryan smirked, pecking him on the cheek.

            “You know it, boyfriend.”

            ----------------------------------------------------

            They had just finished ordering, and the waitress whisked away their menus, fluttering back into the kitchen.

            “Isn’t this place just gorgeous?” Brendon sighed, fiddling with his wine glass. The restaurant that Ryan had chosen was decorated in cool earth tones, mostly varying shades of brown and some white splashed in for contrast. “It reminds me of that hotel we once stayed in when we went to San Diego.”

            “Are you thinking about redecorating the living room again?” Ryan teased, drinking his wine sophisticatedly.

            “Okay, I redesign it about three times and suddenly you think that I want to put every single layout that I like into our house,” Brendon complained. “You are not being fair.”

            “It’s because you also redid the bathroom four times and the guest bedrooms seven times. And I’m talking about all of the guest bedrooms. The mansion has about forty of them.”

            Brendon muttered something about liking pretty colors and Ryan just snickered.

            Their food was served about thirty minutes later, and Ryan had whispered to their new waiter in undertones, his hand moving underneath the table. The waiter nodded and walked towards the neighboring table.

            “What did you tell him?” Brendon asked.

            “Nothing, just that the food was a bit cold,” Ryan said smoothly.

            When they ran out of wine, the waiter had taken the glasses from the table and brought it back into the kitchen. Brendon was about to protest when Ryan just looked at him, shaking his head.

            “Can I have my breadsticks now?” Brendon whined when the waiter brought back their glasses.

            “Your bread-uh-sticks vill be served momentarily,” the waiter shrilled, and Brendon’s face was bright red from holding back laughter.

            “Oh my god, did you hear his accent?” Brendon laughed. “I bet he has a fake name like Pierre or something.”

            “Drink your wine,” Ryan said, and Brendon lifted the glass when something caught the light.

            “What the—“

            Brendon wiggled his glass and saw that there was a silver ring at the bottom of the cup. “Oh my god, he must have dropped this when he was pouring,” Brendon panicked. “Waiter!”

            Ryan shushed him, his face bright red. “No, he didn’t drop it,” he coughed.

            “How do you know?”

            “I…I asked the waiter to put it in your glass,” Ryan said awkwardly, and a silence fell between them. Ryan’s face was bright red and Brendon looked like a fish out of water.

            “Take it out,” Ryan whispered, and Brendon did that, wiping the red wine onto the napkin.

            Brendon’s heard was beating at triple pace, and his throat was dry. “What… What is this?”

            Ryan reached over the table and took his hand. “I want to marry you, Brendon. I know that we can’t get officially married, but I want you to be my husband. I want,” Ryan said quietly, gripping his hand tightly, “to wake up to you every single day and call you mine. I want to be yours. I want to be with you forever.”

            Brendon opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but found that he couldn’t speak. He grabbed the wine glass and gulped it all in.

            “Yes,” Brendon gasped. “I mean, of course.”

            “That’s it?” Ryan said, amused, his lips twitching.

            “No!” Brendon groaned, reaching over to take Ryan’s glass and drink all of the wine too. “I mean, I just…I’m really bad at this,” he moaned. “I’m sorry. I just…I really want to. I want all of that, too. I want all of it and more. Ryan…I love you.”

            Ryan chuckled and walked over to Brendon’s side of the table, pulling him up, and kissing him gently in front of the entire restaurant.

            There was whispering all around them when they pulled apart, but Ryan could hardly give a flying fuck. He brushed Brendon’s bangs out of his eyes and smiled widely. “I love you.”

            -----------------------------------------

            “So remind me again why Spencer and Jon have to be separated?” Ryan asked Brendon, holding Lucien in his arms.

            “Because they will be crying so loudly that the combined volume will be too much for anyone to bear,” replied Brendon, who was flipping through a stack of papers.

            “Why would they be crying?”

            “Spencer will be too emotional over the fact that Ryan Ross isn’t a cold-hearted bitch and that he actually has feelings. Jon will be sobbing because you’re actually settling down and going against everything you stood for when you were sixteen.”

            Lucien wriggled uncomfortably. “Daddy, let me down!”

            “No, you’re not going anywhere,” Ryan scolded. “You ruined all of Daddy’s notes last time I let you in here. If you want to help us with the wedding, you have to let me hold you.”

            Lucien was very dissatisfied about this deal, but he just crossed his arms and let Ryan cradle him.

            “So which designer do you want to go with for the suits?” Brendon asked, scribbling something down in his notebook.

            “Anything’s fine, really,” Ryan remarked absentmindedly. Lucien was currently trying to see how far Ryan’s hair could go when he pushed it up.

            Brendon widened his eyes. “What’s that I hear?” he questioned dramatically. “Did you just say that anything is fine? You’re Ryan Ross! Clothing is everything!”

            “I am not a ponce,” Ryan shot back.

            “Okay, okay, calm down,” Brendon laughed. “Want me to make a list for you?”

            “Are you sure you really want to plan the entire thing by yourself?” Ryan said worriedly. “I mean, I know that I’m not good with stuff like that, but I don’t want you to feel pressure or anything.”

            “No, I’ll be fine,” Brendon said, brushing a hand in the air. “I live for this kind of stuff. I’ve been dreaming my own wedding since I was like, nine.”

            “So when I walk into the venue, it won’t be decorated in pink and purple right?”

            Ryan ducked from the pencil that Brendon chucked at him. “I’m kidding!” he laughed. “But in all honesty, how good can a nine-year-old wedding be?”

            “Well, of course I’ve made some adjustments,” Brendon retorted. “But this is something that I’ve been dreaming about for a while now.”

            Ryan leaned over to peck Brendon the cheek. “I’m sure it’ll turn out just perfect.”

            -----------------------------------------

            The ballroom was a flurry of frantic activity. Everyone was moving things around, setting things up in last-minute preparation. The room didn’t look complete yet, and everyone was running around trying to string some ribbons up or hang some flowers up there. It was quite chaotic and hurt one’s eyes to look at it for too long.

However, a little blonde boy was sitting on one of the chairs, swinging his legs and looking at his surroundings with mild curiosity. Lucien looked absolutely adorable in his little tailored suit. Ryan had insisted that Lucien wore something custom-made. He was playing with his silken blue tie, flicking the tip against his nose.

            “Uncle Spencey, my shoes are itchy,” Lucien piped up.

            “Well, you can take them off later,” Spencer assured him, smoothing out his jacket. “Do you know where Uncle Jonny is?”

            “He’s said that he’s going pee,” Lucien said, and Spencer sighed.

            “I told him not to drink so much orange juice in the morning,” he said, picking Lucien up.

            “Spencey, I wanna go see Daddies.”

            “Well they’re getting ready, so you can’t do that,” Spencer said, bouncing Lucien up and down in his arms. “Daddy Ryan is very grumpy right now.”

            “Why is he grumpy?”

            “His suit isn’t absolutely perfect, and there’s obviously something wrong with his hair. But Daddy Brendon should be done by now.”

            “Daddy Ryan is such a slowpoke,” Lucien whispered, giggling. “But Daddy can’t know that! It’s our secret, okay Uncle Spencey?”

            Spencer just smiled at him. “Oh when you grow up, you’re definitely going to be a heartbreaker.”

            “I can’t do this,” Ryan gasped. “I can’t, I just—“

            “I am not marrying a coward,” Brendon said sternly. “Baby, why are you so nervous?”

            “Because I’m so going to fuck up and something is going to be wrong and then Lucien is going to start playing around because he’s bored—“

            “Okay, calm down,” Brendon shushed soothingly. “Just breathe, okay?”

            “Brendon, I’m going to die.”

            “No, you’re not, stop being so dramatic. You’re going to look at me and you’re going to make it through.”

            “What if I die halfway through the procession?”

            Brendon rolled his eyes. “Honey, you are now exaggerating along with being extremely melodramatic.”

            He pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Look at me. Just look at me, and don’t worry. We’re going to be fine. Everything’s going to be fine.”

            Ryan sniffed and pressed his nose against Brendon’s. “Do you promise?”

            “When have I ever let you down?”

            ---------------------------------------------

The reception was a blast. They had made it through the ceremony without anyone dying or over-excessive hyperventilation, so it was good. Ryan was a bit flushed from wine consumption, and Brendon was a bit better at handing his drinks.

            Lucien was sitting on one of the chairs, talking with a little girl wearing a rose-colored dress. She had black curls and a pretty smile. They were dipping their fingers in the wine and drawing on the tablecloths. Brendon would have told them to stop, but he could see that they were all having too much fun.

            Spencer and Jon were shamelessly grinding against each other, but since they weren’t the only ones, Ryan had to let it slide.

            He was buzzed on wine, sliding against Brendon, swaying together.

            “This is the best day ever,” he whispered against Brendon’s lips, spinning around the dance floor.

            “There will be even better days,” Brendon assured him, holding him close. “Every day is good as long as I’m with you.”

            “You’re so mushy,” Ryan groaned, and Brendon just smiled and acknowledged it. “But I love it,” he added, kissing him lightly, feeling the taste of sweet wine on his tongue. “I love this. I love us.”

            “I love you,” Brendon whispered, and they sealed it with a kiss.

            It was a promise. It wasn’t the best kiss ever, seeing as they were both quite intoxicated, but it was a promise, a promise of better things to come. It was a promise that no matter how angry they would be at each other sometimes, they would always love each other.

            It wasn’t perfect, but it was home.

            They were home.

A/N: so this is it! “Every Inch of Me” is officially complete. Whew! I feel a bit sad because this is like my first fic ever, and I’ll miss writing this, but it’s high time that I move on to other projects.

Thanks to every single person who took the time to comment on each other. Thank you to those who have been with me since THE FIRST CHAPTER. You are my favorites, and I’ll never thank you guys enough for all the support you have given me while writing this story.

And for those that are unhappy that I didn’t put in the wedding ceremony, I’m sorry! I really didn’t know how to write a wedding scene because they couldn’t officially get married, so I just decided to skip it. And for the lack of slash: well, the epilogue was supposed to be fluffier thank before.

On a final note, thank you very much for reading this story. I am forever grateful for all the kind words. I love all of you.